Kelly’s Heroes (of the existential type): A phenomenological study into the experience of “existential immigration”

Those who know me are aware that I am interested in phenomenon, that is to say the lived world experience of events. This is a piece of research I did on the experience of being foreign. I'd like to thanks Greg Madison for inspiring me.

Kelly’s Heroes (of the existential type): A phenomenological study into the experience of “existential immigration”

   

Our...journey requires us to be touched and shaken by what we find on the way and not to be afraid to discover our own limitations..., Uncertainties and doubts. It is only with such an attitude of openness and wonder that we can encounter the impenetrable everyday mysteries [of our world] (van Deurzen- Smith, 1997. P.5.)

Abstract

The following piece of collaborative Phenomenological research between my self and two co researchers reflects upon the bodily lived experience of being foreign. It is based on my own experience of being foreign in that I have lived in Spain for 16 years and when I first came here I could not speak the language and this influenced how I felt about myself. Using the lifeworld themes first described by existential philosopher Husserl and other existential themes, such as belonging and not belonging by Martin Heidegger that arose from the interview, we explored the lived experience that is being foreign. Based on a phenomenological ontology this research explored the themes through descriptive story telling and meaning making of these stories. Although this research cannot be considered as conclusive, it does point to two very differently lived experiences of being foreign and supports the conclusion that existential migration described by Madison (2006) is embarked upon for various reasons and indeed may have various resolutions. A migrant of this nature may be considered as an “existential hero” as in he or she is willing to sacrifice long held belief structures and will boldly wade into new ideas, new concepts and new ways of expression with an openness and willingness that defies any ideas that the migrant is inevitably doomed to an identity crisis as suggested by Schuetz (1944).

Introduction

The term “embodiment” indicates that it is through our bodies that we experience the world around us. Through our bodies we can interact with our environment. It is through our bodies that we experience a feeling of self. Not just physically, but also at psychological and social levels (Phoenix 2002). Existential philosopher Edmund Husserl, who founded the Phenomenological movement in philosophy, was particularly interested in how the world appeared to people. This was a radical move away from the dualistic thinking of mind or a body. Husserl was not interested in resolving such dualisms and took a more holistic approach to research and centred it around conscious experience of the world (Hollway 2007).  Key phenomenological themes according to Husserl are firstly, “Dasein” which translates as “being in the world” and secondly “lifeworld”. These two themes are the essence of phenomological research and capture our inseparability from the world in which we live and that our experience of the world is based on how we consciously perceive it. This goes further than any potential “truths” that may or may not be out there somewhere. Phenomenological research is interested in conscious, bodily lived experience (Hollway 2007).

  Greg Madison (2006) used phenomenological concepts to investigate a phenomenon that he termed “existential immigration”. He was very interested in the bodily experience of migrants who had moved around not necessarily for economic reasons, but used migration as an existential expression of “self” (Madison 2006). Using a phenomenological ontology outlined by Martin Heidegger he researched themes of “being at home” and “not being at home”, “openness to difference” and “belonging”. 

  Language and the ability to express oneself and communicate is a very important part of the self and can make us feel included or excluded. It is through language that we symbolize cultural concepts and shared meanings. Eva Hoffman in her book “Lost in Translation” (Hoffman 1989) described this as the unseen shared values as to what represents beauty, ugliness; good taste or bad taste; politically correct or incorrect to which a foreigner in a new social context may be excluded.  Helma Lutz’s (2011) uses “lost in translation” (Hoffman 1989) as a backdrop on which to draw out themes related to identity and how it can be affected by having to learn a new language. What Hoffman refers to as the “emotional cost of recreating oneself (through language)”. Lutz also tackles subjects such as language being much more than just instrumental and affecting and even distorting the “self”. She goes on to use the work of phenomenological sociologist Alfred Schuetz as support to this theme of the migrant ultimately doomed to an identity crisis. But finally accuses the work of Hoffman and Schuetz to be overly generalist in its use of the word migrant and relies on work by Anne Phoenix to claim the term “migrant” is much more heterogenic.

  This piece of collaborative research between myself and co researchers is based on my own experience as an immigrant. I have lived in Spain for over 15 years and when I first arrived I didn’t speak Spanish. This affected the way I felt about myself and the way I had to rethink long standing belief structures. I was very interested in how others experienced the phenomenon of being an immigrant, so for me a phenomenological perspective seemed the obvious choice. I was not interested in explaining causes by using a theoretical framework such as psychoanalysis. My real interest lies in the rich description of the experience itself. The data was analysed whilst holding in mind the four common lifeworld themes of Husserl: Temporality (the subjective experience of time); Spatiality (the subjective experience of space); Embodiment (the experience of one-s own body) and Intersubjectivity (the subjective experience of social relations with others). During the whole process of this piece of research I have maintained a process of hermeneutic reflexivity in keeping with epoché or the process of temporarily bracketing our own experience to allow themes from data to emerge in a bottom up process. I am especially interested in one question that Madison (2006) was unable to answer, “Is the existential migrant an existential hero or is she or he lost in the dilemma of perpetuating the condition that they are trying to address?”  This led to the research question: How does the experience of being foreign affect identity?  

Method

     

Since I am not interested in uncovering any unseen objective “truth” that may be “out there” somewhere, but more in personal subjective experience, I used interpersonal interviews as a way of collecting my data. A semi structured interview using open ended questions was used to avoid “yes/no” responses and produce a richer subjective description that was later analysed for emerging themes and meanings. By keeping the interview semi structured it was hoped that it would also engage the co researchers and make it an interesting experience and a space to reflect on things that may otherwise not be thought about. As my research is interested in subjective experience of how one interacts with the world, I interviewed the co researchers individually, thus avoiding any negotiating that may arise through a group discussion. 

 The co researchers were selected on the criteria of having lived in a foreign country for at least 10 years. Two males were interviewed John and Simon (not their real names) during half an hour.

  The wellbeing of my two participants was of the upmost importance throughout research process. The treatment of participants conformed to the BPS code of ethics and conduct, respecting during the whole process their right to withdraw at anytime. This was especially relevant to this research, as discussing the experience of home and not being at home, may invoke strong feelings and emotions about families and about isolation, this also included protecting myself. Co researchers were informed that if at any moment they felt they could not continue with the interview then it would be terminated immediately and the data destroyed.  Anonymity was respected at all times, and the transcribed data uses initials to refer to false names for the different co researchers, thus maintaining their anonymity. It was impossible to maintain confidentiality as the texts may be read by peers or be published. Security of the data was guaranteed, as the recorded conversations were stored on the researchers’ computer that is protected by passwords and was destroyed as soon as it was no longer needed. When the interviews finished the co researchers were de- briefed and the nature of the research revealed, this was also the moment to identify unforeseen difficulties and arrange for emotional support if it should have been needed.

 After explaining ethical issues, the co researchers were asked to sign an informed consent form which I maintain.

 The interviews were recorded on an MP3 player, then were transcribed and an analysis of the transcripts enabled the identification of themes that are coherent with the existential philosophers, this also facilitated the identification of themes interwoven across the two interviews. The transcribed interviews can be seen in Appendix I and II.  The initial part of the interview was not a question, but a request that the co researcher describe the experience of leaving “home”. “Maybe you could start off by describing your experience of leaving home”. During the process of interview, very few questions were asked but there were moments in which I asked the co researcher to expand or reflect on something they had said.

In the interview with Simon, line 103

  “it’s very curious that (.) it sounds like the very thing that maybe- not drove you away (.) but certainly made you think about leaving Ireland in the first place (.) the

idea of being from a north European culture when you came to Spain (.) was the

very thing that identified you and what you used as a comparison to the Spanish

culture (.) which was maybe the very thing that drove you away from Ireland”.

 Or the interview with John, line 58:  

 “That-s interesting (.) you know I’d just like to take you up on that point

It’s curious that like um (.) arriving in a new situation, in a new culture

faced with a new language (.) that you didn’t speak the language at all

you know, you describe it like it was a feeling of coming home (.) almost,

which destroys a little bit the idea of home being a geographical place”.

Analysis of the Data

 The data has been analysed using a hermeneutic phenomenology to understand the essence of the experience. Husserl originally claimed that it was possible for a researcher to stand outside of her own experience to take a “Gods eye view” of the phenomenon being studied. Heidegger, Sartre and Merleu- Ponty challenged this view stating that experience should be studied within the context of embodied experience, including that of the researcher. This analysis has taken into account this delicate dance of bracketing and at the same time reflecting upon my own embodied experience (Hollway 2007). Firstly the data was analysed for lifeworld themes coherent with the Existential Philosophers, and then a more interpretative analysis was used based on methods outlined by Van Manen (1990). Although the themes are listed as separate phenomenon, they are very much intertwined.

  Due to problems of space I have concentrated on the lifeworld themes of embodiment and Intersubjectivity as it is through their bodies that my co researchers experience their difference and through intersubjective relations that emerges the experience of being a foreigner.

Emerging Lifeworld Themes

Embodiment: This was a powerful theme and both co researchers felt that their bodies transmitted “foreignness”. The subjective experience of the body was often used as a comparison to what was seen as typical “Spanish”. It was through the experience of the body that difference and “otherness” was evident.

John: 85- 86: now look at me (pause) people wont see me on the radio

but I (.) but I look foreign I look Irish

Simon: 52- 58: in Spain I felt much more like a foreigner you recognisably (.) physically I’m foreign you know I didn’t speak the language when I first arrived (.) and even now (.) I’ve been here for 10 years and I speak Spanish reasonably well (.) but I’m one of those people who has a really thick accent (.) so when I speak- if I’m speaking to people on the phone making phone calls for work or whatever (.) anybody can instantly recognise that I’m not Spanish

Intersubjectivity: This is also a powerful theme as it is only through intersubjective relationships are we aware of our sameness or difference. John completely rejected any type of interaction with sameness through a fear of what he had gained would somehow be taken from him, as we can see later John is completely immersed in becoming the difference, hence at the beginning at least there was a complete rejection of sameness.

John: 270- 275: if I heard someone walk into the bar speaking in English I paid and left (.) I beat it (.) I did that for years (.) I (.) would (.) not (.) speak English (.) I had no camaraderie with fellow nomadic types (.) now maybe I have some because none of this what I’ve gained can be taken from me   and so by mixing with other English speaking people (.) but before I couldn’t cos I sort of new I wouldn’t learn Spanish

Simon on the other hand is comfortable with his own difference and in fact it is this intersubjective experience of being different that felt most comfortable and was used as an important part of identity.

Simon: 69-74: over the years it’s felt a lot more natural to be at some level the outsider and for my identity to be constructed to a significant extent around being an outsider you know in the situation and erm you know my social relations and my um professional relations with erm those around me(.) having something that’s really sort of (.) I guess there’s something tangibly distinct that identifies me

Other emerging themes

Throughout the interviews and the later analysis of data, it became very evident to me that there were indeed Identities being resolved as suggested by Shuetz (1944). But I would certainly refrain from using “crisis”, there was certainly no crisis of identity from either of the co researchers, for me the more adequate description would be a “resolving of identity”.

 Both co researchers begin this existential journey from different perspectives. John on one hand went about “eating the cake” that was Spain with the enthusiasm of a young child and like Alice in wonderland, the more cake he ate the more he grew. John was very much caught up in the phenomenon as he experienced Spain through his 5 senses.

John

Taking in the difference: Shows the enthusiasm with which John went about taking in Spanish culture

John: 99- 100:  it was like a big cake waiting there to be eaten and I kinda just went about eating it...

296- 298: I wanted to dress up in this difference and become this difference (.) I wanted it to seep into me and change my very being

Here we can see how John considered his Irishness to be an obstacle and how he tried to bracket his own experience and culture so as to not “contaminate” the absorbing of the Spanish culture.

Epoché of ID:  John experienced his Irishness as an obstacle.

262- 265: my otherness- my Irishness was a sort of hindrance   it was a nuisance you know (.) it would only get in the way and I’d have to sort of park it over there out the way somewhere so I could actually take on board...

Simon

Simon on the other hand began a process of resolving from a completely opposite position. For Simon feeling as an outsider was a natural position to be in. This allowed him to negotiate from a third position or a “third space” according to (Homi Bhabha 1990) cited in Lutz (2011), allowing him a double vision which could bring together experience of the past with the present. It was through this that Simon resolved his rejection of some aspects of Spanish culture.

Rejection of difference: Simon took an opposite stance to John in that it was his very Irishness, and non acceptance of the Spanish “other” that tangibly defined his ID.

Simon: 84- 87: maybe I wouldn’t recognise it as such internally but I did have this feeling of there’s flaws in this culture (.) you know there’s aspects of this culture that I don’t like and that are wrong and you know these- these Spanish people should correct these aspects of their culture (.)

Coming to terms: We can see through the lived experience of John and of Simon that there was a coming to terms with the reality as experienced by them both.

John

John comes to terms with his Irishness and although he now considers himself half Spanish he recognises and accepts that there are things he can never have, such as memories of being twelve years old here.

John: 282- 288: I wasn’t that age here (.) that was a pain for me for a long time that was a pain in me for a long time that I could- that I could never have that (.) I (.) I could never have the age of 12 I could never have the age of 7 feeling what it was to be in the patio in a school you know I could never have lived it (.) and er it’s taken years to actually put that to rest to assimilate it and to live with it (.) it was actually a sore pain in me

John: 279- 282:  to a degree I’ll never be a Spaniard (.) there’s all sorts of stuff the songs that the little girls sing (.) they’re skipping on the skipping rope that I’ve had to learn it’s been precarious it’s been a way it’s been historical sort of learning (.) I wasn’t that age here

Simon

Simon comes to terms with the aspects of Spanish culture he originally disliked. He comments on how this has been possible through the fact that his “difference” and of being an outsider has become less significant for him in his identity.

SImon: 91- 97: I suspect that it’s partially because I think (.) my identity (.) the aspects of what I would’ve perceived to be my identity (.) what had made me different had become less significant to me and um (.)I guess what I’m trying to say is I’m somewhat less intolerant (.) I’m not entirely free of intolerance (laughs) but somewhat less intolerant of those aspects of Spanish culture that I found frustrating- but at the same time I think I’m also less attached to um (.) you know my identity as a foreigner...

Simon: 98- 101: there’s things that I do right um and that being from my culture are you

know um better basically although I might not have said it that explicitly (.) that

it’s better and that  the Spanish should learn to live up to those standards (laughs)

there’s less sort of clinging on to my rightness...

Discussion

 My first initial question was whether I could resolve Madison’s (2006) question as to whether the existential immigrant is an existential hero or is she or he lost in the dilemma of perpetuating the condition that they are trying to address? Although definitively unable to answer the question, I would have to highlight that in the case of my co researchers there seemed to be heroism of epic proportions.

1.                In Madison’s research his co researchers are professional people who are participating in a continually globalising world, indeed Madison himself works between Europe and America. His migrants are high ranking executives or academics whose migration can be seen as an active participation in this globalizing world. Their migration seemed to be well planned out and a case of exploring the “new world” from the comfort of a well paid job. This of course makes it no more admirable and indeed a desire to explore the world and openness to new experiences was experienced. But there existed ulterior motives such as prospects of a better employment. This is certainly not the case for John and Simon. Johns motive for migration was purely existential; he came to Spain with the sole desire to become part of the Spanish “experience”.

2.            “...I didn’t want to be an ex-pat, I’m not an expat I’m an inpat.  I have repatriated myself here.  Doesn’t mean I’m not Irish, but it does mean that I’m also Spanish...” (Interview with John 276).

Simon’s migration was also based on existential needs as he was battling with drink and drugs at the time as he states “...I had to reconcile something inside myself and I tried to do it in a way that was never going to work by moving to another place. In a way I was running away, but I think the experiences that came as a result were very enriching and I wouldn’t change any of those things...”(interview with Simon  278- 282).

There seems to be none of the “cultural schizophrenia” described by Hoffman (p.22), but more an allowing of a hybrid space for the recreation of self, as described by Lutz (2011).

Reflexivity

I myself am an immigrant and have lived in Spain for the last 16 years, when I first came to Spain I couldn’t speak Spanish and this influenced how I felt about myself. My process was very similar to John’s in that I saw my Englishness as an obstacle to learning Spanish. For me Spanish language was much more than functional, it represented an expression of self. So it was very difficult for me not to get carried along by the enthusiasm that John showed during the interview process.

During both the interviews I was consciously using hermeneutic reflexivity, in listening to what was being said from a position of naive openness and then reflecting on how this compared to my own experience. There were moments when this process was difficult as my own experience wanted to jump in straight away and start comparing and analysing.

During the analysis process I had an overwhelming feeling of inadequacy and clumsiness. I had been privileged to listen to two very personal and moving stories and suddenly felt like an apprentice jeweller who had been handed the crown jewels and I had to somehow hammer out a rough diamond shaped “thing” out of all this rich and descriptive data.

Final comment

 Although through this small scale piece of collaborative research it is very difficult to come to any definitive conclusions, we can certainly appreciate the diversity of the “existential migrant”. It has been through the Phenomenological perspective of lifeworld themes that I have been able to avoid a diagnosis and refrained from coming to some sort of conclusion on the “typical traits” of an existential migrant. Phenomenology has served to capture the bodily lived experience of myself and of my two co researchers. I would suggest that it now remains for other disciplines of Psychology; Sociology or Philosophy, to debate and explain, if that is possible, themes such as: How and why we can feel at home or not at home?

References

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Hoffman. E (1989) Lost in Translation. Vantage Books. London

Hollway. W (2007) Chapter 2, Methods and knowledge in social psychology in Social Psychology Matters, Hollway. W, Lucey. H & Phoenix. A (eds). Open University. Milton Keynes

Hollway. W (2007) Chapter 5, Self in Social Psychology Matters, Hollway. W, Lucey. H & Phoenix. A (eds). Open University. Milton Keynes

Lutz. H (2011) Lost in translation? The role of language in migrants’ biographies: What can micro- sociologists learn from Eva Hoffman? In European Journal of Womens Studies 18(4) 347- 360. Sage Publishing

Madison. G (2006) “Existential Migration” Existential Analysis http://www.gregmadison.net/documents/MigrationEA.pdf

Phoenix. A (2002) Chapter 1 Identities and diversities in Mapping Psychology 1

 Miell. D, Phoenix. A, and Thomas. K (eds) Open University Milton Keynes

Schuetz. A (1944) The Stranger: An Essay in Social Psychology in The American Journal of Sociology, Vol. 49, No. 6 (May, 1944), pp. 499-507 Published by: The University of Chicago Press Stable

Van Ecke. Y (2005) Immigration from an attachment perspective in Social Behaviour and Personality 33(5) 467-476 Society for Personality Research