Chris and Mirella

Chris and Mirella stood together high on the cliff top with majestic views over the whole valley below. As they looked yonder they could see the slaves of the science paradigm each heaving huge blocks of stone into place, there was a multitude, each with a very specific role in the construction of the pyramids built to honour and preserve the evidence based scientific paradigm. Each slave laying the block of stone that was to become their prison, and each slave learnt to see the pyramid as they had been told to see it by the wise teachers in the schools of learning without realising that they had forgotten how to question.

“¿Why should one question?” declared Mirella and it was true, because engraved on each of the pyramids were the words p=<0,05,  thus it was written from that moment on all knowledge must be p=<0,05 as a testament to it’s objectivity and all other knowledge which does not bear this sign shall be rejected and ridiculed, and so it came to pass.

As Chris and Mirella looked on an old man Kierkegaard came to them and declared “The people still suffer!” “¿Do you not see?” “The people no longer exist, but are lost completely to objectiveness.” Kierkegaard sunk deeper into his cloak and turned mumbling “mark my words!! Objective madness is the worse type of madness because one regards oneself as just another fact. People with objective madness have no soul.”

Chris turned to Mirella and asked “maybe the time has come to be authentic and admit our incoherencies.”

“I am always coherent!!!” cried Mirella, to which Chris answered “That may be so, but isn’t it also true that when we claim to be something we shed responsibility for our actions?”

Chris paused, “we can never just be, we chose and do”.

Mirella sunk deeper into her woollen jacket, for it was beginning to get cold, her voice trembled either from the cold or because it was the first time she felt uncertainty “But if I step outside of the scientific paradigm, what shall become of me?”

Chris wished there was a way to offer certainty but the truth must be told “Life will become meaningless; this is the price one must pay for being a free thinker. To be free means to assume freedom, for it is through our choices that we really become free. Accept the unavoidable, the here and now and assume the responsibility of our choice in every situation. For if we are what we do, then we are nothing but the choices we make.

“Are you suggesting that you and I..my life are all nothing?” despaired Mirella.

“On the contrary, we can only strive to be nothing; nothingness is a state which is never permanent, even if we achieve it, it cannot be maintained; It would be false to believe we are nothing, but striving to be nothing frees us from the restraints of dogma and paradigm.. When we lean on scientific paradigm we flee from our choices and our responsibility, the same as our ancestors relied on religious doctrine to avoid choices and responsibility. Who does evidence based intervention serve? Does it help the patient or does it help free the therapist of responsibility...?”

Chris turned up his collar as the winds began to chill his spine. “In the vain hope of becoming a CBT therapist, we shed our responsibility. The moment we make our bed with any school of thought we are relieved of all choice and responsibility and thus lost”.

Just at that moment the pyramids began to tremble. “You see? A theoretical framework is a fortress that we build for security, but beware for it is built upon the moving sands of uncertainty and change; any feeling of control is at best fleeting”.

“We must embrace freedom, for as much as we try to hide behind dogma and paradigms, we can never be liberated of our responsibility. We do not take an exam, there is no certificate, we cannot become, only strive to become without becoming. Once we become we stop striving and just are, we are safe in the knowledge that never again must we make another decision”.

Mirella shook her head and muttered “But being and becoming makes me feel good, should I reject that?”

“Feeling good is only temporary, it is doing that is important. What is more important to you, to feel good or live well? It is futile to try to be at one with oneself. Anxiously holding onto our theoretical framework enables us to avoid this truth and any thoughts we may have of being “right” are just thoughts and we should abstain from attaching importance to them”.

Mirella once more shook her head and replied “Surely we owe it to our clients to follow those who have gone before and what has proved to work?”

“But if I can’t make a decision free from dogma, what right have I to make decisions for others? Surely we need a committed response to each situation, not just a manual to follow. When we create our own values, we encourage our clients to be the artists of their own lives and not just followers of what has gone before”.

“When our clients come with anxiety, we should encourage them to embrace anxiety as bearer of the ultimate truth, that life is pointless. Temporary avoidance quickly disappears like sand through our fingers and objectivity can never be obtained because to understand something is to interpret it.”

Mirella turned to go as now it was getting dark, Chris thought he heard “You’re out of your fucking mind” but the wind carried it away

Para mi amiga Mirella

Chris y Mirella estaban juntos en lo alto de la cima del acantilado, con majestuosas vistas sobre todo el valle. Mientras miraban allí pudieron ver a los esclavos del paradigma de la ciencia, cada uno colocando enormes bloques de piedra en su lugar, había una multitud, cada uno con un papel muy específico en la construcción de las pirámides construidas para honrar y preservar el paradigma de la ciencia basada en la evidencia. Cada esclavo con el bloque de piedra que se convertiría en su prisión, y cada esclavo aprendió a ver la pirámide como se le había enseñado a verlo los sabios maestros de las escuelas de aprendizaje, sin darse cuenta de que se habían olvidado cómo cuestionar.

"¿Por qué se debería cuestionar?" declaró Mirella y tenia razón, porque grabada en cada una de las pirámides se veía las palabras p = <0,05, así fue escrito que a partir de ese momento todo conocimiento debe ser p = <0,05 como testimonio a su objetividad y todo otro conocimiento que no llevara este signo será rechazado y ridiculizado, y así sucedió.

Mientras Chris y Mirella miraban, un anciano Kierkegaard se acercó y les declaró: "Las personas todavía sufren! ¿No os dais cuenta? La gente ya no existen, se pierden por completo en la objetividad". Kierkegaard se envolvió más profundamente en su capa y se dio la vuelta murmurando. "Recuerda mis palabras! La locura objetiva es el peor tipo de locura, porque uno se refiere a si mismo como un simple hecho. Las personas con locura objetiva no tienen alma”.

Chris volvió a Mirella y pidió "Tal vez ha llegado el momento de ser auténticos y admitir nuestras incoherencias."

"¡Soy muy coherente!" gritó Mirella, a lo cual Chris respondió "Puede que sea así, ¿pero no es cierto también que cuando declaramos ser algo nos despojamos de la responsabilidad de nuestras acciones, tipo “soy así”, “soy drogadicto” etc.…?"

Chris hizo una pausa, "nunca podemos simplemente ser, elegimos y hacemos".

Mirella se hundió más profundamente en su chaqueta de lana, porque empezó a hacer más frío, su voz temblaba, ya sea por el frío o porque era la primera vez que sentía la incertidumbre. "Pero si salgo del paradigma científico, ¿qué será de mí?"

Chris deseaba que hubiera una manera de ofrecer certeza, pero se debe decir la verdad "La vida no tendrá sentido, este es el precio que pagar por ser un libre pensador. Ser libre significa asumir la libertad, porque es a través de nuestras elecciones que realmente llegamos a ser libres. Aceptar lo inevitable, el aquí y ahora y asumir la responsabilidad de nuestra elección en cada situación. Porque si somos lo que hacemos, no somos más que las decisiones que tomamos”.

"¿Estás sugiriendo que tú, yo, mi vida…no es nada?" Desesperó Mirella.

"Al contrario, sólo podemos esforzarnos por llegar a la nada; es un estado que nunca es permanente, incluso si lo logramos, no puede mantenerse; Sería falso creer que no somos nada, pero tratando de ser nada nos libera de las ataduras del dogma y del paradigma… Cuando nos apoyamos en el paradigma científico nos huimos de nuestras elecciones y de nuestra responsabilidad, lo mismo que nuestros antepasados ​​se apoyaron en la doctrina religiosa para evitar decisiones y responsabilidad. ¿A quién sirve la intervención basada en la evidencia? ¿Le ayuda al paciente o ayuda a liberar el terapeuta de su responsabilidad? "

Chris se subió el cuello, como los vientos comenzaron a enfriar hasta los huesos. "En la vana esperanza de convertirnos en Terapeuta Cognitivo Conductual, Psicoanalista, Humanista o cualquier otro Marco, nos despojamos de nuestra responsabilidad. En el momento en que hacemos la cama con cualquier escuela de pensamiento, nos sentimos aliviados y libre de toda elección y responsabilidad. Estamos destinados a vagabundear sin criterio propio dentro de un marco teórico y así perdidos”.

Justo en ese momento las pirámides empezaron a temblar. "¿Ves? Un marco teórico es una fortaleza que construimos para nuestra seguridad, pero ten cuidado porque está construida sobre las arenas movedizas de la incertidumbre y el cambio, cualquier sensación de control es temporal  y fugaz”.

Continuaba Chris: "Debemos abrazar la libertad, por mucho que intentamos en escondernos detrás de los dogmas y paradigmas, nunca podremos liberarnos de nuestra responsabilidad. No hacemos un examen, no hay ningún certificado, no podemos llegar a ser, sólo esforzamos por ser, sin llegar a ser. Una vez que llegamos a ser dejamos de luchar y simplemente somos, cómodos y seguros con la certeza de que nunca más tenemos que tomar otra decisión.

Mirella sacudió la cabeza y murmuró: "Pero ser y llegar a ser me hace sentir bien ¿debo rechazar eso?"

"Sentirse bien solo es temporal, es el hacer que es importante ¿Qué es más importante para ti, sentirse bien o vivir bien? Es inútil intentar estar en harmonía con uno mismo. Ansiosamente agarrándose a un marco teórico nos permite evitar a esta verdad y cualquier pensamiento que tengamos sobre nuestra “razón”, solo son pensamientos y debemos abstenernos de dar importancia a ellos."

Mirella, una vez más negó con la cabeza y respondió: "¿No es cierto que se lo debemos a nuestros clientes a seguir a aquellos que nos han precedido y lo que se ha demostrado que funciona?"

"Pero si soy incapaz a tomar una decisión libre de los dogmas, ¿con qué derecho puedo tomar decisiones por los demás? Necesitamos una respuesta comprometida en cada situación, y no sólo un manual de seguir. Cuando creamos nuestros propios valores, animamos a nuestros clientes a ser los artistas de sus propias vidas y no sólo seguidores de lo que ha ido antes”.

"Cuando nuestros clientes vienen con ansiedad, deberíamos animarlos a abrazarla como portador de la última verdad, que la vida no tiene sentido. La evitación temporal desaparece rápidamente como arena entre los dedos y la objetividad nunca se puede conseguir porque para entender algo es interpretarla."

Empezó a oscurecer y Mirella se dio la vuelta, parecía a Chris que se oyó un “estás como una puta cabra”… pero el viento se lo llevó.

Stop Smoking Workshop 2014

Counselling Therapist Madrid

Stop Smoking workshop

Calling all smokers who want to make 2014 the year that they give up smoking

Start living a healthier, more enjoyable life.

Counselling therapist in Madrid now has places open for the 2014 stop smoking workshop, ideal as a gift for friends or relatives who wish to stop smoking.

Date of the first workshop: Sunday 2^nd February 2014

Six weekly two hour sessions that will prepare you for taking the lunge and breaking the habit.

Sessions include

1.      Psycho education: Smoking and Stress, Withdrawal and Coping Skills, Health related effects of smoking, Myths and facts related to nicotine substitution treatment, exercise and weight gain

2.      Understanding Why You Smoke: Understanding your smoking patterns

3.      Getting Ready to stop: Handling the addiction and the habit

4.      Preparing Your Plan: Smoking triggers

5.      Go for It! Strategies for stop day

6.      Follow up: How’s it going?

Cost of the course is 80 euros, paid in full at the beginning of the first session

For more information visit our web page or contact Chris neill directly on 600636785 or chrisneill@counsellingtherapistmadrid.com 

ACT: Passengers on a bus metaphor

The ACT “passengers on a bus” (see here) metaphor has recently been used as a thought diffusion technique in a piece of research on resisting chocolate. Cognitive diffusion consists of creating space between one’s thoughts and oneself to the point where one comes to recognise that you are not your thoughts, but just the arena where they take place. This technique basically consists of the participants imagining they are the driver of a bus and that any thoughts or feelings they had about eating chocolate were to be considered as awkward passengers who attempt to highjack the direction in which they wish to go, which in this case was not eating chocolate.

There were three groups, the experimental group trained in cognitive diffusion techniques, a comparison group trained in urge surfing techniques to ride out the wave of craving, and a control group trained in relaxation techniques.

The 135 participants were each given a bag containing 14 chocolates to carry around with them for five days without eating any of the chocolates. They were also asked to refrain from eating any other chocolate during the five days and to keep a diary of how much chocolate they did actually eat.

The key findings were that the urge surfing group ate just as much chocolate as the control group and both groups ate more than the experimental group. 27% of the cognitive diffusion group ate some chocolate over the five days, compared with 45% for both the urge surf and the control group.

These results were followed up by a habits questionnaire, which suggested that the diffusion technique was more effective because it reduced the mindless automatic consumption of chocolate by the diffusion group better than in the other two groups.

The researchers, Kim Jenkins and Katy Tapper, suggested that their results show mindfulness diffusion techniques such as passengers on a bus, are promising brief intervention strategies for boosting self control over an extended period.  

Lo que carece de sentido, lo suelen llamar absurdo

Echo un ojo a los casi 200 libros que tengo en las estanterías, todos buenísimos, todos comprados porque los necesitaba, “si no compro este libro mi vida no va ser lo mismo” me decía a mi mismo. Ahora están sentados en la estantería de casa atrayendo al polvo y muchos, da vergüenza decirlo, sin leer. Suspiro, los libros me aburren. Un poco de música… sí, eso es. ¿Pero de qué tipo? Solo en la colección de jazz tengo “beebop”, “hardbop”, “New Orleans”, “cool” y “fusion”. Luego tengo “poprock”, “hardrock”, “heavy metal”, “britpop”, “pop español”… UFFFF! música no. La play eso es, sí la play. Soy piloto de formula 1, soy soldado de las fuerzas especiales, soy astronauta con un misión especial de matar a bichos en una planeta de un universo paralelo. Aburrido, aburrido,  también me aburre. Ya me aburre todo.

¿Puede ser que un cuarentón con sobrepeso, coche, trabajo, móvil de última generación y todos los trapos que conlleva vivir en nuestra sociedad, llegue a más resentido, más enfadado y más aburrido que su semejante en África que no tiene ni para comer?

Pues sí, parece que los que más tenemos, más queremos. Desde los tiempos de los griegos se viene diciendo que más cosas no es igual a más felicidad. Pero seguimos coleccionando, por si acaso, porque no nos fiamos del todo: “¿qué pasa si aquel libro, peli, novio/a, trabajo móvil… es la clave de mi felicidad?”, me justifico a mí mismo, después de comprar otra cosa, y nada más dar al clic en el “comprar con un solo clic” del botón de amazon.com ya no me gusta.

¿Por qué? Me pregunto. Parece que la anticipación ha llegado a superar el evento. Me recuerda a cuando era yo un consumidor habitual de heroína. Llega el momento que la droga ya no funciona fisiológicamente. Los últimos años de consumo eran realmente devastadores, un lugar terrible donde no te consuela ni la droga. Curiosamente, lo que nunca dejó de funcionar fue la anticipación. De hecho el único momento en que me sentía vivo era cuando iba a pillar, después, siempre fue decepcionante. Preguntad a cualquiera que consuma, los adictos solo se comprometen a dejarlo justo después de consumir, porque la decepción es tan grande. Pero la anticipación de la siguiente dosis es tan poderosa que puede anular hasta los mejores intentos a la abstinencia.

Anticipar como podría ser, siempre va a superar una realidad que después no hace nada mas que decepcionar. No es para sorprenderse. Nuestros anhelos, nuestras fantasías y nuestra imaginación están alimentados por un bombardeo continuo de anuncios en la televisión, que nos venden estilos de vida y secretos hacia la felicidad en mensajes crípticos impartidos por modelos, o supermodelos (como se llaman hoy en día), como si ser modelo no fuera lo suficiente o un futbolista no es nadie si no es un galáctico.

Los libros de autoayuda se han convertido en la Biblia de la sociedad moderna, con su psicología barata nos explican que todo está dentro, a nuestro alcance, solo hay que ser positivo y puedes con todo. Una mentira, aunque hay cosas dentro de nuestro control, la idea de que somos dueños de nuestro destino es una ilusión. Pero jugando con nuestra anticipación de algo mejor, siguen vendiendo libros con titulo como “Los Secretos del Dinero y el éxito”, “Cómo Llegar a Ser Poderoso y Tener Éxito con las Mujeres”. Todo lo pintan tan fácil, que tiene que haber algo básicamente erróneo en alguien que no consigue el éxito o, en el caso de los libros de religiones orientales, la paz interior. He intentado a descubrirme a mi mismo pero me fallan cuatro cosas: 1. no puedo quedarme quieto más de cinco minutos; 2. no puedo callarme; 3. no puedo dejar de obsesionarme sobre mi mismo y 4. no puedo dejar de querer cosas materiales.

Voy a lo fácil, quiero ser Cristiano Ronaldo o la tía esa que grita tanto en Gran Hermano XII. Fácil, rápido y sin ningún esfuerzo, así puedo conseguir el éxito merecido por una cara tan bonita.

Como en las mejores Biblias, existen los mártires y los pecadores. Los que siguen el consejo y llegan a la tierra prometida y los pecadores que reciben su merecido. Las presentadoras del mundo de la prensa rosa salen en televisión, para explicarnos como ganaron su valiente lucha contra el cáncer. Como si tuviera algo que ver con ellas, su estilo de vida y su fuerza de voluntad. ¿Y que pasa con las que no la ganaron? ¿Acaso carecen de fuerza de voluntad? ¿Hacen algo mal? O, simplemente, reciben su merecido por pobres y gordas.

The art of making noise

 According to an article published in the online version of Faculty of 1000 biology reports, playing a musical instrument has the potential to change the shape and the power of the brain.

There is growing evidence that musicians have structurally and functionally different brains compared with non-musicians, in particular the areas of the brain used in processing and playing music. These include: motor skills, hearing, storing audio information and help the memory to become larger and more active when a person learns how to play an instrument and can apparently improve day to day actions such as being alert, planning and emotional perception.

Psychologists at the University of Zurich claim that benefits are widespread and affect both children as well as adults, including those over 65 years of age, who with just one hour a week of musical practice over a four month period showed signs of change in the brain structure.

An interesting side affect is that people who play musical instruments seem to be more adept at learning foreign language and more in tune to recognising the emotions in other people. It seems musicians are better able to store audio information.

Music has a strong influence on the plasticity of the brain and can increase memory and language skills. 

The education paradigm

Two different approaches to Drugs Policies with two very different results

 Coffee shops and compromise: Separated illicit drug markets in the Netherlands

Though famous for its coffee shops, where cannabis can be purchased and consumed, the Netherlands has accomplished many enviable public health outcomes through its drug policy. These include low prevalence of HIV among people who use drugs, negligible incidence of heroin use, lower cannabis use among young people than in many stricter countries, and a citizenry that has generally been spared the burden of criminal records for low level, nonviolent drug offenses.

Coffee Shops and Compromise: Separated Illicit Drug Markets in the Netherlands tells the history of the Dutch approach and describes the ongoing success of the country’s drug policy. This includes the impact of the Dutch “separation of markets,” which potentially limits people’s exposure and access to harder drugs.

Though coffee shops have traditionally commanded the most media attention, the Netherlands also pioneered needle exchange and safer consumption rooms, decriminalized possession of small quantities of drugs, and introduced easy-to-access treatment services.

These policies, coupled with groundbreaking harm reduction interventions, have resulted in the near-disappearance of HIV among people who inject drugs and the lowest rate of problem drug use in Europe.

To read the full document

http://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/64663568/library/coffee-shops-and-compromise-the-netherlands.pdf

Puerto Rico's ignored public health crisis: Drug use and HIV

The converging issues of heroin drug dependence and HIV have emerged as a public health emergency in Puerto Rico. With the government overwhelmed, non-profits groups try to fill the void.

For the last three decades, Puerto Rico's public health officials have unsuccessfully fought a full-scale public health crisis. Today, the island has one of the highest HIV/Aids infection rates in the US, and more than 50% of all newly reported cases come from intravenous drug use.

Overwhelmed and chronically underfunded, the existing framework of health programs struggles to serve the island's estimated 60,000 intravenous drug users, so a patchwork of groups tries to fill the void.  

Original article in the Guardian newspaper

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2013/jul/15/puerto-rick-health-crisis-heroin-drugs?CMP=twt_gu

Cultural Adjustment

Adapting to a different culture can at times be a slow and difficult process, leaving behind support networks such as families and friends can often leave globetrotters vulnerable to psychological problems such as anxiety and depression. There is no specific known cause for difficulty in adapting to a new culture and may be influenced by personal characteristics and may include themes such as: The reasons for moving to another country, overstress resulting from the accumulation of adjustment demands, feeling of loss resulting from the detachment from familiar surroundings, feeling of rejection by members of the host culture, uncertainty regarding one’s own identity and role, overwhelmed regarding the dimension of differences and helplessness because of missed possibilities.

Change, although at times painful is often an opportunity to grow as we are pushed outside of our comfort zone. As the saying goes, “ships are safest in the harbour, but that’s not what ships are for”. Being forewarned about the processes of cultural adjustment can help us to understand what we may be going through and go some way in explaining any difficulties we may be experiencing.

One of the best known theoretical models to describe the process of cultural adjustment is that of anthropologist Kalervo Oberg. In 1960 he published “Cultural Shock: Adjustment to new cultural environments”, where he outlined a four stage cultural adjustment model, also known as the U-curve model.

Stage 1: The honeymoon

In this stage immigrants are excited about the prospect of change. The unfamiliarity of everything is a novelty, minor setbacks are ignored and cultural differences are seen as charming quirks. In this stage, people tend to be curious, willing to learn, accepting and open minded.

Stage 2: Crisis or culture shock

In this stage the proverbial bucket of cold water is thrown on any idealised concepts we may have towards the host culture. As daily monotony sets in, one becomes aware of difficulties imposed by the language barrier. Calling a plumber can become a major linguistic problem as we have to find new resources other than relying on good old Yellow Pages. The things that we first found charming about the host culture become annoying and unbelievably complicated and we can start to feel frustrated and misunderstood. This can lead to a lack of self esteem, loneliness and homesickness. At this stage it is usual to disproportionately value all things related to the country of origin and to totally reject things from the host country.

This is a key moment for any cultural adjustment and one that everyone usually goes through. In this phase it is essential to find people in the same situation, try and connect with ex-pat social clubs, participate in sporting or cultural activities, read newspapers in your native language and generally get involved. This will help to realise that any insecurity that you may feel are due to your present social context and nothing to do with you as a person. Remember, this phase will pass if you stick it out.

Stage 3: Adjustment

Things now begin to seem familiar, the route to work, how to manage the underground system, you may even have a favourite bar where you have breakfast in the morning. You may once again begin to appreciate things about your new country, the weather, the countryside etc... Of course it won’t all be roses in this stage and one of its characteristics is an ambivalent love hate relationship with the host culture. This is a turning point where we begin to understand better both the language and the culture and can begin to accept without having to make comparisons with how we remember our country of origin. There may now be greater interaction as day to day activities increasingly involve people of the host culture, thus reducing the “us- them” dichotomy. If you are at this stage you have come a long way and are well on your way to integrating into the host culture. This is a good moment to fine tune your language skills and to participate in culturally diverse activities.

Stage 4: Mastery

This is the stage where we become completely at home in our new environment, but at the same time recognising our own cultural differences. We can accept other cultures without the need to judge. We feel comfortable with who we are and what our culture is, but also recognise that our new culture makes us all that richer as people.  We don’t loose our original culture and become our new culture, but begin to negotiate from a third position or a “third space” according to (Homi Bhabha 1990), where we accept our cultural differences and feel comfortable with ourselves and our place in our new environment. Here we realise that it’s not about being right or wrong and this gives us the gift of choice; we can choose what new things we wish to take onboard and what we wish to retain, without worrying about loosing our sense of identity.

These stages should not be thought of as lineal but more circular, life has the habit of getting in the way of our best laid plans and emergencies or crisis can send us from stage 4: Mastery, straight back to stage 2: Crisis/ Culture shock. But forewarned with this knowledge we will be better placed to cope with it.

Schneider and Barsoux (2003, p.190) identified the following main competencies considered crucial for cultural adjustment:

Linguistic ability: helps establish contact especially “bits of conversational currency” (local expressions, information, and interests).

Motivation to live abroad (cultural curiosity): key ingredient to a successful adaption of expatriates and their families, genuine interest in other cultures and new experiences.

Tolerance for uncertainty and ambiguity: circumstances change unexpectedly, behaviour and reactions of local people  can be unpredictable, acknowledging that uncertainty and ambiguity exist (not everything is straight forward).

Patience and respect: respect towards the new culture without benchmarking it against the home culture, instead trying to understand local reasons for the way things happen.

Cultural empathy: appreciating thoughts, feelings, and experiences of others, focused listening and a non-judgemental approach.

Strong sense of self (or ego strength): a healthy narcissism necessary to allow inter-action with another culture without fear of losing one’s own identity, enabling the expatriate to be self-critical and open to feedback.

Sense of humour: important as a coping mechanism and for relationship building, and to buffer frustration, uncertainty and confusion.

Balancing ACT

Due to evolution we have developed three main strategies for survival that, although very useful for the survival of our species, do have an emotional cost and make us suffer.

Firstly, our parietal lobes in our frontal cortex create the feeling of our separateness from the world. It creates the sensation of a boundary between us and the world, and also between one mental state and another, this together with socially learnt verbal descriptions that define “good” or “bad” mental states, with each being quantitatively separate from the other. That is to say, us separated from the world and our own internal private events also separated from each other.

Secondly, our body struggles continually to maintain stability. Homeostasis is our body’s way of maintaining optimal levels, if we are hot; we are driven to find shade, if we are cold to find shelter. If our levels of energy and nutrients drop below a certain point, then we are driven to find food. This is a very complex balancing act, in that we must remain open to inputs from the external environment, but also our system must remain centred around an adequate set point, not too hot, not too cold. This balance is achieved by two systems within our central nervous system, the limbic system, which arouses and our prefrontal cortex which inhibits.

Thirdly and again related to our limbic system and our prefrontal cortex, is our impulse to approach opportunities and at the same time to avoid threats. Chasing carrots or avoiding snakes. Dopamine is the neurotransmitter that is activated when we encounter things that have been associated with reward in the past.  Why a glass of cold water tastes so damned good on a hot sunny day, dopamine is setting up a reward system for future associations. The desire part is created by the cingulate gyrus, which gives us the motivation to do something rewarding, and the dopamine is what rewards us after.

Each of these survival strategies works well in most cases, but they do have costs when we consider three important facts about the world in which we live:

1)      Everything is connected: we form part of the food chain, the energy that enables us to eat comes from the sun, trees provide us oxygen and we provide them with carbon dioxide. Our ability to interpret facial expressions and language means our path is inextricably entwined with that of others. Our bodily sensations become thoughts feelings and memories all intertwined in a stream of continuous consciousness. Our attempts to separate ourselves from the environment and our consciousness are frequently frustrated.

2)      Everything keeps changing: on an internal level our neural system is changing continuously at the rate of about 5 to 8 times a second. Our stream of consciousness must be temporarily parted to allow for the formation of a single thought as neural synapses is organised into some sort of coherence. A moment or an experience that we desperately try to hold onto is gone in a moment and disappears from our consciousness as though sand through our fingers. Any sensations we may have of being able to control continuity, both internal and external are just fleeting moments.

3)      Opportunities are routinely missed and many threats are unavoidable: We regularly fail to take advantage of opportunities, or those that we achieve loose their shine quickly and fail to satisfy us as we expected. Studies show that even lottery winners, very quickly return to a baseline level of satisfaction. Things that previously motivated us, very quickly bore us. Lastly, some threats are just unavoidable. Getting old or dying are good examples of unavoidable threats. Our attempts to avoid threats, creates a generalized background of anxiety, which at times and for some people can be intense and unpleasant.

How many psychologists does it take to explain a joke?

Well quite a few actually, which leads to the conclusion that if you have to explain it, you don’t really get it. Many have tried to capture the essence of “funniness”.  Aristotle claimed it is a derogatory device for expressing one’s superiority over others or groups and Freud claimed it releases nervous sexual tension. One thing is for sure, humour is present across all human cultures.

One of the most popular theories as to what makes a joke funny is the recognition of an incongruity followed by its resolution. For example: Two cup cakes in the oven and one says to the other “uff it’s hot in here” and the other replies “Oh my god, a talking cup cake!!” First we set up a hypothetical fictitious world where indeed cupcakes talk, we may even feel sympathy for the poor cupcake, but this illusion is finally shattered by the punch line as we are reminded of the reality that cupcakes can’t talk.

At a neurological level, jokes seem to act on different parts of our brain, as the joke is being told and we are resolving ambiguity, our left inferior frontal and temporal cortices are stimulated, this could be considered as joke detection. Then once the punch line has been analysed this then activates the reward system in the nucleus accumbens, which of course is why we find jokes so pleasurable.

Humour could be considered as a mental erogenous zone and plays an important role in the mating game. In surveys it has been shown that a sense of humour and ability to make other people laugh is considered attractive for both men and women in evaluating a potential partner. Alas I’ve never been very good at telling jokes so would have difficulty in France where studies have shown that women were three times more likely to share their phone number with men who they had just heard tell a funny joke, oh la la!

Based on an article by Christian Jarret in “the Psychologist” vol 26 Nº 4  

Observation by George Carlin

This Observation by George Carlin so impressed me that I had to reproduce it here.

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete.

Remember to spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever.

Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.

Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.

Remember, to say, 'I love you' to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.

Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.

Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.

And always remember, life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by those moments that take our breath away.

George Carlin