Those who know me are aware that I am interested in phenomenon, that is to say the lived world experience of events. This is a piece of research I did on the experience of being foreign. I'd like to thanks Greg Madison for inspiring me.
Kelly’s
Heroes (of the existential type): A phenomenological study into the experience
of “existential immigration”
Our...journey requires
us to be touched and shaken by what we find on the way and not to be afraid to
discover our own limitations..., Uncertainties and doubts. It is only with such
an attitude of openness and wonder that we can encounter the impenetrable
everyday mysteries [of our world] (van Deurzen- Smith, 1997. P.5.)
Abstract
The following piece of collaborative Phenomenological
research between my self and two co researchers reflects upon the bodily lived
experience of being foreign. It is based on my own experience of being foreign
in that I have lived in Spain for 16 years and when I first came here I could
not speak the language and this influenced how I felt about myself. Using the
lifeworld themes first described by existential philosopher Husserl and other
existential themes, such as belonging and not belonging by Martin Heidegger
that arose from the interview, we explored the lived experience that is being
foreign. Based on a phenomenological ontology this research explored the themes
through descriptive story telling and meaning making of these stories. Although
this research cannot be considered as conclusive, it does point to two very
differently lived experiences of being foreign and supports the conclusion that
existential migration described by Madison (2006) is embarked upon for various
reasons and indeed may have various resolutions. A migrant of this nature may
be considered as an “existential hero” as in he or she is willing to sacrifice
long held belief structures and will boldly wade into new ideas, new concepts
and new ways of expression with an openness and willingness that defies any ideas
that the migrant is inevitably doomed to an identity crisis as suggested by
Schuetz (1944).
Introduction
The term “embodiment”
indicates that it is through our bodies that we experience the world around us.
Through our bodies we can interact with our environment. It is through our
bodies that we experience a feeling of self. Not just physically, but also at
psychological and social levels (Phoenix 2002). Existential philosopher Edmund Husserl,
who founded the Phenomenological movement in philosophy, was particularly
interested in how the world appeared to people. This was a radical move away
from the dualistic thinking of mind or a body. Husserl was not interested in
resolving such dualisms and took a more holistic approach to research and
centred it around conscious experience of the world (Hollway 2007). Key phenomenological themes according to
Husserl are firstly, “Dasein” which translates as “being in the world” and
secondly “lifeworld”. These two themes are the essence of phenomological research
and capture our inseparability from the world in which we live and that our
experience of the world is based on how we consciously perceive it. This goes
further than any potential “truths” that may or may not be out there somewhere.
Phenomenological research is interested in conscious, bodily lived experience
(Hollway 2007).
Greg
Madison (2006) used phenomenological concepts to investigate a phenomenon that
he termed “existential immigration”. He was very interested in the bodily
experience of migrants who had moved around not necessarily for economic
reasons, but used migration as an existential expression of “self” (Madison
2006). Using a phenomenological ontology outlined by Martin Heidegger he
researched themes of “being at home” and “not being at home”, “openness to
difference” and “belonging”.
Language and the ability to express oneself
and communicate is a very important part of the self and can make us feel
included or excluded. It is through language that we symbolize cultural
concepts and shared meanings. Eva Hoffman in her book “Lost in Translation”
(Hoffman 1989) described this as the unseen shared values as to what represents
beauty, ugliness; good taste or bad taste; politically correct or incorrect to
which a foreigner in a new social context may be excluded. Helma Lutz’s (2011) uses “lost in translation”
(Hoffman 1989) as a backdrop on which to draw out themes related to identity
and how it can be affected by having to learn a new language. What Hoffman
refers to as the “emotional cost of recreating oneself (through language)”.
Lutz also tackles subjects such as language being much more than just
instrumental and affecting and even distorting the “self”. She goes on to use
the work of phenomenological sociologist Alfred Schuetz as support to this
theme of the migrant ultimately doomed to an identity crisis. But finally
accuses the work of Hoffman and Schuetz to be overly generalist in its use of
the word migrant and relies on work by Anne Phoenix to claim the term “migrant”
is much more heterogenic.
This piece of collaborative research between
myself and co researchers is based on my own experience as an immigrant. I have
lived in Spain for over 15 years and when I first arrived I didn’t speak
Spanish. This affected the way I felt about myself and the way I had to rethink
long standing belief structures. I was very interested in how others
experienced the phenomenon of being an immigrant, so for me a phenomenological
perspective seemed the obvious choice. I was not interested in explaining
causes by using a theoretical framework such as psychoanalysis. My real
interest lies in the rich description of the experience itself. The data was
analysed whilst holding in mind the four common lifeworld themes of Husserl:
Temporality (the subjective experience of time); Spatiality (the subjective
experience of space); Embodiment (the experience of one-s own body) and
Intersubjectivity (the subjective experience of social relations with others).
During the whole process of this piece of research I have maintained a process
of hermeneutic reflexivity in keeping with epoché or the process of temporarily
bracketing our own experience to allow themes from data to emerge in a bottom
up process. I am especially interested in one question that Madison (2006) was
unable to answer, “Is the existential migrant an existential hero or is she or
he lost in the dilemma of perpetuating the condition that they are trying to
address?” This led to the research question: How does the experience of being foreign
affect identity?
Method
Since I am not interested
in uncovering any unseen objective “truth” that may be “out there” somewhere,
but more in personal subjective experience, I used interpersonal interviews as
a way of collecting my data. A semi structured interview using open ended
questions was used to avoid “yes/no” responses and produce a richer subjective
description that was later analysed for emerging themes and meanings. By
keeping the interview semi structured it was hoped that it would also engage
the co researchers and make it an interesting experience and a space to reflect
on things that may otherwise not be thought about. As my research is interested
in subjective experience of how one interacts with the world, I interviewed the
co researchers individually, thus avoiding any negotiating that may arise
through a group discussion.
The co researchers were selected on the
criteria of having lived in a foreign country for at least 10 years. Two males
were interviewed John and Simon (not their real names) during half an hour.
The wellbeing of my two participants was of
the upmost importance throughout research process. The treatment of
participants conformed to the BPS code of ethics and conduct, respecting during
the whole process their right to withdraw at anytime. This was especially
relevant to this research, as discussing the experience of home and not being
at home, may invoke strong feelings and emotions about families and about
isolation, this also included protecting myself. Co researchers were informed
that if at any moment they felt they could not continue with the interview then
it would be terminated immediately and the data destroyed. Anonymity was respected at all times, and the
transcribed data uses initials to refer to false names for the different co
researchers, thus maintaining their anonymity. It was impossible to maintain
confidentiality as the texts may be read by peers or be published. Security of
the data was guaranteed, as the recorded conversations were stored on the
researchers’ computer that is protected by passwords and was destroyed as soon
as it was no longer needed. When the interviews finished the co researchers
were de- briefed and the nature of the research revealed, this was also the
moment to identify unforeseen difficulties and arrange for emotional support if
it should have been needed.
After explaining ethical issues, the co
researchers were asked to sign an informed consent form which I maintain.
The interviews were recorded on an MP3 player,
then were transcribed and an analysis of the
transcripts enabled the identification of themes that are coherent with the
existential philosophers, this also facilitated the identification of themes
interwoven across the two interviews. The transcribed interviews can be seen in Appendix I
and II. The initial part of the
interview was not a question, but a request that the co researcher describe the
experience of leaving “home”. “Maybe you
could start off by describing your experience of leaving home”. During the
process of interview, very few questions were asked but there were moments in
which I asked the co researcher to expand or reflect on something they had
said.
In the interview with
Simon, line 103
“it’s
very curious that (.) it sounds like the very thing that maybe- not drove you
away (.) but certainly made you think about leaving Ireland in the first place
(.) the
idea of being from a north European culture when you came to
Spain (.) was the
very thing that identified you and what you used as a
comparison to the Spanish
culture (.) which was maybe the very thing that drove you
away from Ireland”.
Or the interview with John, line 58:
“That-s interesting
(.) you know I’d just like to take you up on that point
It’s curious that like um (.) arriving in a new situation, in
a new culture
faced with a new language (.) that you didn’t speak the
language at all
you know, you describe it like it was a feeling of coming
home (.) almost,
which destroys a little bit the idea of home being a
geographical place”.
Analysis of the Data
The data has been analysed using a hermeneutic
phenomenology to understand the essence of the experience. Husserl originally
claimed that it was possible for a researcher to stand outside of her own
experience to take a “Gods eye view” of the phenomenon being studied.
Heidegger, Sartre and Merleu- Ponty challenged this view stating that
experience should be studied within the context of embodied experience, including
that of the researcher. This analysis has taken into account this delicate
dance of bracketing and at the same time reflecting upon my own embodied
experience (Hollway 2007). Firstly the data was analysed for lifeworld themes
coherent with the Existential Philosophers, and then a more interpretative
analysis was used based on methods outlined by Van Manen (1990). Although the
themes are listed as separate phenomenon, they are very much intertwined.
Due to problems of space I have concentrated
on the lifeworld themes of embodiment and Intersubjectivity as it is through
their bodies that my co researchers experience their difference and through
intersubjective relations that emerges the experience of being a foreigner.
Emerging Lifeworld Themes
Embodiment: This was a powerful theme and both co researchers felt that their
bodies transmitted “foreignness”. The subjective experience of the body was
often used as a comparison to what was seen as typical “Spanish”. It was
through the experience of the body that difference and “otherness” was evident.
John: 85- 86: now look at me (pause) people wont see me on the radio
but I (.) but I look foreign I look Irish
Simon: 52- 58: in Spain I felt much more like a foreigner you recognisably (.)
physically I’m foreign you know I didn’t speak the language when I first
arrived (.) and even now (.) I’ve been here for 10 years and I speak Spanish
reasonably well (.) but I’m one of those people who has a really thick accent
(.) so when I speak- if I’m speaking to people on the phone making phone calls
for work or whatever (.) anybody can instantly recognise that I’m not Spanish
Intersubjectivity: This is also a powerful theme as it is only through intersubjective
relationships are we aware of our sameness or difference. John completely
rejected any type of interaction with sameness through a fear of what he had
gained would somehow be taken from him, as we can see later John is completely
immersed in becoming the difference, hence at the beginning at least there was
a complete rejection of sameness.
John: 270- 275: if I heard someone walk
into the bar speaking in English I paid and left (.) I beat it (.) I did that
for years (.) I (.) would (.) not (.) speak English (.) I had no camaraderie
with fellow nomadic types (.) now maybe I have some because none of this what
I’ve gained can be taken from me and so
by mixing with other English speaking people (.) but before I couldn’t cos I
sort of new I wouldn’t learn Spanish
Simon on the other hand is comfortable with his own difference and
in fact it is this intersubjective experience of being different that felt most
comfortable and was used as an important part of identity.
Simon: 69-74: over the years it’s felt a
lot more natural to be at some level the outsider and for my identity to be
constructed to a significant extent around being an outsider you know in the
situation and erm you know my social relations and my um professional relations
with erm those around me(.) having something that’s really sort of (.) I guess
there’s something tangibly distinct that identifies me
Other emerging themes
Throughout the interviews and the later analysis of data, it became
very evident to me that there were indeed Identities being resolved as
suggested by Shuetz (1944). But I would certainly refrain from using “crisis”,
there was certainly no crisis of identity from either of the co researchers,
for me the more adequate description would be a “resolving of identity”.
Both co researchers begin
this existential journey from different perspectives. John on one hand went
about “eating the cake” that was Spain with the enthusiasm of a young child and
like Alice in wonderland, the more cake he ate the more he grew. John was very
much caught up in the phenomenon as he experienced Spain through his 5 senses.
John
Taking in the
difference: Shows the enthusiasm with which
John went about taking in Spanish culture
John: 99- 100: it was like
a big cake waiting there to be eaten and I kinda just went about eating it...
296- 298: I wanted to dress up in this difference and become this
difference (.) I wanted it to seep into me and change my very being
Here we can see how John considered his Irishness to be an obstacle
and how he tried to bracket his own experience and culture so as to not
“contaminate” the absorbing of the Spanish culture.
Epoché of ID: John experienced his
Irishness as an obstacle.
262- 265: my otherness- my Irishness
was a sort of hindrance it was a
nuisance you know (.) it would only get in the way and I’d have to sort of park
it over there out the way somewhere so I could actually take on board...
Simon
Simon on the other hand began a process of resolving from a
completely opposite position. For Simon feeling as an outsider was a natural
position to be in. This allowed him to negotiate from a third position or a
“third space” according to (Homi Bhabha 1990) cited in Lutz (2011), allowing
him a double vision which could bring together experience of the past with the
present. It was through this that Simon resolved his rejection of some aspects
of Spanish culture.
Rejection of difference:
Simon took an opposite stance to John in that
it was his very Irishness, and non acceptance of the Spanish “other” that
tangibly defined his ID.
Simon: 84- 87: maybe I wouldn’t recognise
it as such internally but I did have this feeling of there’s flaws in this
culture (.) you know there’s aspects of this culture that I don’t like and that
are wrong and you know these- these Spanish people should correct these aspects
of their culture (.)
Coming to terms: We can see through the lived experience of John and of Simon that
there was a coming to terms with the reality as experienced by them both.
John
John comes to terms with his Irishness and although he now considers
himself half Spanish he recognises and accepts that there are things he can
never have, such as memories of being twelve years old here.
John: 282- 288: I wasn’t that age here (.)
that was a pain for me for a long time that was a pain in me for a long time
that I could- that I could never have that (.) I (.) I could never have the age
of 12 I could never have the age of 7 feeling what it was to be in the patio in
a school you know I could never have lived it (.) and er it’s taken years to
actually put that to rest to assimilate it and to live with it (.) it was
actually a sore pain in me
John: 279- 282: to a degree I’ll never be a Spaniard (.) there’s all
sorts of stuff the songs that the little girls sing (.) they’re skipping on the
skipping rope that I’ve had to learn it’s been precarious it’s been a way it’s
been historical sort of learning (.) I wasn’t that age here
Simon
Simon comes to terms with the aspects of Spanish culture he
originally disliked. He comments on how this has been possible through the fact
that his “difference” and of being an outsider has become less significant for
him in his identity.
SImon: 91- 97: I suspect that it’s
partially because I think (.) my identity (.) the aspects of what I would’ve
perceived to be my identity (.) what had made me different had become less
significant to me and um (.)I guess what I’m trying to say is I’m somewhat less
intolerant (.) I’m not entirely free of intolerance (laughs) but somewhat less
intolerant of those aspects of Spanish culture that I found frustrating- but at
the same time I think I’m also less attached to um (.) you know my identity as
a foreigner...
Simon: 98- 101: there’s things that I do
right um and that being from my culture are you
know um better basically
although I might not have said it that explicitly (.) that
it’s better and that the Spanish should learn to live up to those
standards (laughs)
there’s less sort of
clinging on to my rightness...
Discussion
My first initial question was whether I could
resolve Madison’s (2006) question as to whether the existential immigrant is an
existential hero or is she or he lost in the dilemma of perpetuating the
condition that they are trying to address? Although definitively unable to
answer the question, I would have to highlight that in the case of my co
researchers there seemed to be heroism of epic proportions.
1.
In Madison’s research his co researchers
are professional people who are participating in a continually globalising
world, indeed Madison himself works between Europe and America. His migrants
are high ranking executives or academics whose migration can be seen as an
active participation in this globalizing world. Their migration seemed to be
well planned out and a case of exploring the “new world” from the comfort of a well
paid job. This of course makes it no more admirable and indeed a desire to
explore the world and openness to new experiences was experienced. But there
existed ulterior motives such as prospects of a better employment. This is
certainly not the case for John and Simon. Johns motive for migration was
purely existential; he came to Spain with the sole desire to become part of the
Spanish “experience”.
2.
“...I didn’t want to be an ex-pat, I’m not an expat I’m an inpat. I have repatriated myself here. Doesn’t mean I’m not Irish, but it does mean
that I’m also Spanish...” (Interview with John 276).
Simon’s migration was also
based on existential needs as he was battling with drink and drugs at the time
as he states “...I had to reconcile
something inside myself and I tried to do it in a way that was never going to
work by moving to another place. In a way I was running away, but I think the
experiences that came as a result were very enriching and I wouldn’t change any
of those things...”(interview with Simon
278- 282).
There seems to be none of
the “cultural schizophrenia” described by Hoffman (p.22), but more an allowing
of a hybrid space for the recreation of self, as described by Lutz (2011).
Reflexivity
I myself am an immigrant
and have lived in Spain for the last 16 years, when I first came to Spain I
couldn’t speak Spanish and this influenced how I felt about myself. My process
was very similar to John’s in that I saw my Englishness as an obstacle to
learning Spanish. For me Spanish language was much more than functional, it
represented an expression of self. So it was very difficult for me not to get
carried along by the enthusiasm that John showed during the interview process.
During both the interviews
I was consciously using hermeneutic reflexivity, in listening to what was being
said from a position of naive openness and then reflecting on how this compared
to my own experience. There were moments when this process was difficult as my
own experience wanted to jump in straight away and start comparing and
analysing.
During the analysis
process I had an overwhelming feeling of inadequacy and clumsiness. I had been
privileged to listen to two very personal and moving stories and suddenly felt
like an apprentice jeweller who had been handed the crown jewels and I had to
somehow hammer out a rough diamond shaped “thing” out of all this rich and
descriptive data.
Final comment
Although through this small scale piece of collaborative
research it is very difficult to come to any definitive conclusions, we can
certainly appreciate the diversity of the “existential migrant”. It has been
through the Phenomenological perspective of lifeworld themes that I have been
able to avoid a diagnosis and refrained from coming to some sort of conclusion
on the “typical traits” of an existential migrant. Phenomenology has served to
capture the bodily lived experience of myself and of my two co researchers. I
would suggest that it now remains for other disciplines of Psychology;
Sociology or Philosophy, to debate and explain, if that is possible, themes
such as: How and why we can feel at home or not at home?
References
D
Hoffman. E (1989) Lost in
Translation. Vantage Books. London
Hollway. W (2007) Chapter 2, Methods and knowledge in social psychology
in Social Psychology Matters, Hollway. W, Lucey. H & Phoenix. A
(eds). Open University. Milton Keynes
Hollway. W (2007) Chapter 5, Self in Social Psychology Matters, Hollway.
W, Lucey. H & Phoenix. A (eds). Open University. Milton Keynes
Lutz. H (2011) Lost in
translation? The role of language in
migrants’ biographies: What can micro- sociologists learn from Eva Hoffman?
In European Journal of Womens Studies
18(4) 347- 360. Sage Publishing
Madison. G (2006) “Existential Migration” Existential
Analysis http://www.gregmadison.net/documents/MigrationEA.pdf
Phoenix. A (2002) Chapter 1 Identities
and diversities in Mapping Psychology
1
Miell. D, Phoenix. A, and Thomas. K
(eds) Open University Milton Keynes
Schuetz. A (1944) The Stranger: An Essay in Social Psychology
in The American Journal of Sociology, Vol. 49, No. 6 (May, 1944), pp. 499-507
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